I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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