i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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