"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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