The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
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Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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