I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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