Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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