end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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