Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize