Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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