he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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