i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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