One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize