When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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