There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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