are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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