Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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