3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize