An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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