Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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