im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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