I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize