drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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