Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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