I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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