I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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