why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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