This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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