1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize