Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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