I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize