yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize