Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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