My Higher Power is John Stamos
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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