I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
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Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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