you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize