I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize