Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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