we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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