you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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