i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize