Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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