Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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