Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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