shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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