There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize