new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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