So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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