If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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