dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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