God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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